49 days. My feet have tread American soil for 49 days, exactly 7 weeks. I have been meaning to capture the transition for some time now. I have been processing my thoughts, slowly. It has been hard to wrap my brain around this change. How do you leave a culture that rocked your world, only to enter another one you know so dearly? It’s not reverse culture shock, nor blind love of America and all the amenities. But wrapping my head around the idea that all the Cambodians I loved so dearly, are nearly impossible to contact. I live, we live, in a world, where communication isn’t a standard. For example in America, you can communicate instantly through internet, cell phones or even through this ancient technology of ‘land-lines’, and in every home you can receive mail. Snail mail. That box out front that collects super market coupons. This isn’t a standard in every country. For the boy I sponsor in Malawi, I can send a package to the organization and know that he will receive it, because I witnessed deliveries when I met him almost 3 years ago. But for my second family in Cambodia, I don’t have that same security. My heart melts thinking of my kids in Malawi. But for the kids that crept into my heart in Sdau and Prey Chor, they haunt my thoughts today because I have no means to send them letters or pictures. I can’t write “one dirt road past the market, fifth Chinese-style house on the right” and expect it to reach the baby girl, who sass still cracks me up thinking about it now. Nor can I write in their language or they speak mine. The Internet does amazing things to make it possible for me to call them, but how long until I forget their language? Is it just a ticking time bomb of love? I don’t want their memories, voices and stories to fad. So I’m left with heartache for the children, families and people that touched my life in Cambodia. I don’t regret my decision to change my path and return home, because let’s be honest, my life wasn’t peachy. And I’m not saying life will always be perfect, but when every day is worse than the last, something has to change. So this is what I have done in the past 7 weeks of living in America. I have been learning accounting [not for kicks, but money], watching my adorable nephew and creating my future in the kitchen.
Here comes the photos that document what I have been up to. I’ll be honest, somethings didn’t make it on the camera… like …Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cinnamon frosting for the Super Bowl (via “Baked; New Frontiers In the Kitchen”,such a good book!), Vanilla + Almond Cake with Salted Carmel Buttercream, my 22nd Birthday Cake (the recipe is here. and a new favorite of mine. Please make it, you wont regret it!) or the case of Blue Moon I’ve consumed.
let’s start with the cutie that i watch every working day
Valentine Sugar Cookies (recipe from Baked; New Frontiers in Baking. just buy it)
Visiting the SF Zoo and Grissly Bears with my nephew and the family. 
Then I took a weekend to visit everyone in San Diego. All the people I love so dearly showed up for a night at the coolest bar/pizza spot in SD, Blind Lady Ale House
Here comes a string of baked items.
Cake cookies… that my mom “re-baked” when I was sleeping because “they were too soft, I didn’t think you wanted them like that” thus killing all cakey goodness 
Failed attempt at making cinnamon roll pancakes… next time they will be amazing!
Carmel Delights, or Samoas. aka girl scout cookies. And as I was buying the ingredients I spotted my first girl scouts in Santa Rosa since I moved home…. that sounds quite creepy
Birthday Cake Pancakes. YUM. just add some vanilla or yellow cake mix to the just-add-water pancake mix and you will get Heaven. 
Visited San Francisco, with a dear friend Karin. And loved the SFMOMA, as usual. 
MONSTER Cookies. New Favorite. Also from Baked. One part PB cookie, One part Chocolate Chip, One part Oatmeal. 3 parts AMAZING
Vodka Infusion. This was something I saw when I was doing research. Research, now means, reading food blogs for hours to find recipes worth re-creating, changing and loving. So I spotted this. It was love at first sight. I don’t even like vodka. But the idea of making even better mixed drinks, took me to Costco, K-mart and the internet to find more recipes. I would like to thank Costco for selling large amonts of Vodka for cheap. I would like to thank Peru for making it possible to get mangoes in the middle of March. And Mason Jars for being hip. I decided on these flavors….. 
this one was inspired by my dear friend Matty and a roof top bar in Cambodia 
This was the first cocktail concocted. Bubba Hubba Vodka + Ginger Ale. A winning, sweet, cocktail. 
And the last item was created for today: St. Patrick’s Day, where one Irishman can be found in every crowd
The cake is a chocolate stout, which I will not link. The idea was better than reality. 
However the components almost make one inappropriately named delicious drink. The cupcakes were topped with Bailey’s buttercream using a 2-D tip. I just substituted the cream for the alcohol in the buttercream recipe. yummy. 
and I did lick the beaters like a 7 year old….
My final thoughts…
I don’t know where my life will take me. No one does. But I’m forging a path that will lead to life changing experiences, heart breaking moments, heart warming instances, and finding a way to make tomorrow better than today. At the end of the day, I don’t want to say that was easy, but that was worth it. Now, I’m searching for a new path to find a new dream.
