The most commonly asked question I get- Are you married already? (Ree-up Ka howie, aut? are my shambled Khmer phonetics) I cant even tell you how many times I’ve been asked that. But it’s bound to happen more due to the fact its WEDDING SEASON. To me that means $10 for each wedding I attend, and sleep less nights thanks to the 3 day affair of blaring music and chanting. Below is the account of my first Khmer wedding.
Well that was a cultural experience: I don’t know if I can really recap the last hour and half spent at the wedding in journal form, so I think bullets to describe it would be more fitting. And I just attending the wedding reception, most guests only attend this part. (Those of you reading this that are planning on getting married soon, your guests would appreciate it if you take that Cambodian norm to heart.) The wedding itself has gone on for at least 2 ½ days. I know this because I live across the market, about 500m away, and have herd their music, monk chants and announcements loud and clear from my bed from about 4am to 10pm for the last 2 ½ days and it’s still going strong. I can hear a Cambodian rendition or rip-off of a Put Bull song. (Take note wedding planners, no one wants to hear your music when they should be sleeping or when they’re not even in attendance. Especial songs that were originally in English)
1. Show up with people you know, and then you will sit with people you know. My mistake to be flying solo.
2. I sat next to two wedding crashers. Or that’s my assumption because when the money envelope came around, they got up a left. It was like of like offering at church, expect mandatory.
3. One servers shirt read: “Mosquitoes never ever die” Nice Engrish. Props to changing something from being grammatically correct to incorrect. Apparently, Abercrombie produced it. Interesting.
4. Servers obviously were not wearing any sort of uniform. But identified by plates of food or cases of beer in hand.
5. I felt like I was at a college frat party with all the cheap beer being consumed at excessively high volumes. Except instead of young college “cool” kids, they were older men drinking like it was going out of style. (Like that black sheep alcoholic uncle at an American wedding) The table in front of mine was that drinking table. When they would get another can from the server (who walked around with cases of beer–enforcing the college frat party feeling), they would make him drink an entire glass of theirs then eat some mystery appetizer. I hope the servers were part of the family, then that situation would be a lot less weird.
6. You drink beer in a glass with a lot of ice and a straw.
7. I don’t think a server wearing a “scars” mask should be working as a food server, or forced to drink beer out of someone else’s glass.
8. I now know what lard looks like. And of course using half a chopstick to keep it on the burner is a good idea.
9. I hope the pink meat I consumed from said burner won’t come back to haunt me.
10. The older lady that I was seated next to me told me the market isn’t a good place to live because it isn’t quite. Thank you, I haven’t noticed. Oh wait….
11. I realized I just added older to lady in #9 because I’ve lived in an Asian country for 4 months, where status of age has been engrained into my thinking.
12. The groom was a teacher at my school, so all the schoolteachers and directors were in attendance.
13. All the male teachers were drunk, like really drunk. And apparently in an hour will be back at school teaching. (Some female teachers were too, but they aren’t “proper” by Cambodian culture, so I give them more slack because of their rebellious ways.)
14. This was the first meal I’ve eaten in Cambodia (with Cambodians) that rice didn’t come first. It was last and almost no one ate it.
15. A daughter at my table, perhaps 17, was mixing cheap beer, coke and winter melon soda together. Why? Obviously her dad didn’t care that she was drinking, seeing he was pouring it.
16. The meal consisted of four courses: APPETIZERS-small fried spring rolls, noodles (nasty) and peanuts, FIRST-large fried spring rolls with beef jerkey on the inside, SECOND-grill your own raw meat until it’s less raw, THIRD-mystery seafood platter with veggies in a silver fish shaped dish upon a fire, FOURTH-boiling hot soup with a side of fried rice and steamed rice, DESSERT- take-home candy bar like the wafer cookies at Safeway that come in white, pink and brown. Except only the brown (I am eating them while reporting to you on this event, and they taste the same so it’s a win for you, Bangkok General Food, Co)
17. In the course of the hour and half reception, the wedding party sat across from each other at the entrance and changed 3 times. Consisting of the bride and groom, 3 groomsmen who are all teachers that I recognized and 3 bridesmaids that only is a teacher at my school.
18. Women guest attire is ala 80’s prom. For a conservative society where women cannot show their shoulders, or knees- apparently a wedding is the exception to this rule. I saw a mini skirt, lots of see-though lace, cleavage, no backs (to that: old ladies should really update their wardrobe), strapless shirts, and all extremely fitted. It was quite scandalous. However the majority of women where these scandalous tops with silk sampots that go to the floor, which are rumored to be the hottest possible clothing item.
19. Male guest attire: same as any other event, in America or Cambodia. Button down, slacks and a belt.
20. However many men were wearing a tan Camel cigarette shirt and I’m pretty sure was to indicate they were the uncles of the groom.
21. The wedding had two wedding photographers with digital Nikon SLR cameras. If the new iphone sells for $1,200 in the capital, I can only imagine what those two paid for their cameras.
22. After seeing one guest in a dress that I would actually wear at home, perhaps ill invest in some wedding clothes- aka a lace mini dress.
23. Exiting with the female teachers that weren’t drinking and didn’t want to dance was my best decision made yet- sticking around to see old drunk men get drunker doesn’t seem like the best way to spend my afternoon
24. The saddest part of the whole event was watching street children weave in and out of chairs collecting the empty bottles and cans. Crouching in between chairs so the servers would see them. They eventually would get caught, and told to leave without their cans. The worst part is that these I recognize these street children because they come to my house to watch other kids play Grand Theft Auto 3 aka shoot up civilians and blow up everything in site. (I think I’m a little bitter)
25. OH yea this celebration went down at 11am on a Monday.
